The Heart Goes Last by Margaret Atwood

The Heart Goes LastThe Heart Goes Last by Margaret Atwood
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Really, 3.5 stars.

For a dystopian novel, this one is weirdly silly. I cocked an eyebrow in “wtf just happened” confusion more than once during the story, and I think I’m probably not the only one?

I hate to write anything here that will spoil those moments, but here are a few items completely out of context. Tell me they are not brow raising…

– Elvis sexbots
– The “Green Man Group”
– Baby’s blood vampires
– A woman who won’t say “damn,” but is totally into rough sex
– A teddy bear fetish

Told you!

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Facelift

Over the summer, we decided to give our house a facelift. It started small, as most projects do. The house was the color of dirty condiments, a dirty mustard gold/brown with dirty ketchup maroon trim and shutters. I’d hated it since the day I moved in.

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It looks like someone thought, “Let’s mix mustard and ketchup with poo and then paint a house with the results!”

E had a theory that I might hate it less – not like it, but at least hate it less – if the shutters were brown instead of maroon. Ok, fine. Cue visit 1 of 359 to Sherwin-Williams.

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Half-Caff – the official shutter color choice of coffee-holics everywhere.

So, we pick out a nice not-too-light, not-too-dark milk chocolatey brown, adorably¬†named “Half-Caff.” While there, I picked up a couple of other paint chips that I thought would complement the brown¬†in the future. You know, when we paint the whole house. A cheery yellow and a complementary sea blue called Amalfi.

Upon sharing ideas, color palettes, and the above “Before” photo with friends, family, and the internet, the overwhelming consensus was to paint over that awful brown/gold and just start fresh.

We agreed.

Here is the part where I speak to you from the soap box of experience. Do not choose your paint colors based on paper paint chips alone!

The order of preference based on the paint chips was:

  1. Cheerful
  2. Goldfinch
  3. Gold Crest
  4. Goldenrod

After seeing the samples actually ON our house?

  1. Goldenrod
  2. Gold Crest
  3. Goldfinch
  4. Cheerful

I know, crazy, right?

We did not choose to do this job ourselves. Neither one of us is crazy about heights (or painting….) and we have a friend with exterior spray equipment, so we threw some work his way.

After way too many rainy day delays, and bit work here and there (as this was a side job for the people working on it), the facelift was completed. I smile every time I drive up the hill and pull into our driveway. We may have chosen “Goldenrod,” but the house is still 100% Cheerful.